Truly Loved + Wholly Surrendered

As promised, this post will be about my adventures of New Zealand before I started the missions work. So, I woke up that first morning in Christchurch (the largest city in South Island) at 7 a.m. and my roommate/friend (Brianna) was still sleeping so I took the time to mentally settle in and that's when I realized that I was in a different country, away  from home. Like, far away. And the time difference came as a shock because it was Monday morning for me, but Saturday for my family and friends back home. Eventually, I got used to the time difference, and was able to stay connected with my family at certain times of the day. However, Brianna was right that I was to stay up until it was time to go to bed, New Zealand  time, otherwise, I probably would have woken up earlier, with nothing to do. So, on that Monday, the jet lag wasn't too horrible. I still needed time to adjust though. Brianna woke up shortly after I had a few minutes of peace and quiet in the morning before ...

You'd think that after 2 years of being home from my mission trip I'd be done talking about it. Nope. Haven't really talked about it in the last couple of years, for multiple reasons: I found out my grandmother got sick and stayed sick when I was in New Zealand and it messed with my head more than I thought it would. I was convinced that she'd get better, but she passed shortly after I came home. Dealing with the loss of my grandma and family relationships took a toll on me, not to mention that I had quit my job just before I left. So I was home all the time, which wasn't good for my health and healing. Because I was home all the time after I got back from New Zealand, I had to start looking for a job, one that could use my degree: English. Where could I find such job? To be honest, I didn't really care about looking. But, God provided and I ended up at the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association as an intern that summer. When I started my internship, the pre...

I recently read something that made me think of the depth of the meaning of Messiah’s words when He died on the cross: “It is finished.”  If you’ve grown up in the church, you know that means that Christ took the penalty for our sins and that he bore God’s wrath and judgment in place of us.  But, everything in His life—33 years He walked on this earth—led Him up to this moment. If He didn’t stay in the temple when he was 12 years old [ Luke 2:41-52 ], would He have been able to say, “It is finished”? I think He had to do everything He did, from teaching the Pharisees that the Law will not save them to healing sicknesses and diseases to casting out demons and making the dead live to making the waters still and praying for an abundance of food, in order to be able to say, “It is finished.” Christ abided in the Father by the Holy Spirit [cf. Matthew 3:13-17 ], and did everything in accordance to the will and plan the Father had set before Him. Not a single thing was missed. ...

I was reading this article and it all of a sudden, hit me, all over again, just from reading the first couple paragraphs:  “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”  –Hebrews 4:12, NKJV. The  Word of God , the Bible, the Book I read  every day , is  alive and active . But, this Book was written centuries ago, way before our time of technology and the culture that we live in today. Yet, God had people write the words down that are found in the Bible, and  they still apply to us today.  I knew this, but reading this article made me realize that the writers of the Bible were simply writing what God told them to, by the Holy Spirit. Did they know that what they were writing would not only apply to the current events of  their  time, but it would apply to us, rea...

2018 was quite the year for me, with emotions all over the place as I dealt with the loss of my dear grandmother. It’s been almost a year since she passed, and just a couple weeks ago, I started to feel like myself again; glory to God for not giving up on me! I know He's been working in my heart and my life to heal and comfort. He knew my pain even before it began. But, He has turned my mourning into dancing ( Psalms 30:11 ), and brought healing into my soul, which I've written about, previously .  2018 was also the year that I learned a lot about who God is, and how much He loves and cares. I’ve learned that God is still good, regardless of the circumstances … and I’m learning (still) to see His hand in everything that happens over the course of the year. For example, I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have gotten my job if my family didn’t encourage me to make connections during my internship; I praise Him for giving the job I currently hold (although it’s only been 4 months...

The Lord is so faithful; so so faithful. I know I say simple statements like this frequently, but I just listened to “The Garden” by Kari Jobe and it brought me to tears. God used this song to help me realize that everything that’s happened in my life has led up to this one moment. All the questions I’ve asked over the years, doubts I’ve carried, grief, guilt, feeling like I don’t fit in, questioning how He could love me despite of it all; despite knowing that I would wonder of the sincerity of His grace. “The Garden” is a song that deals mostly with sorrow and grief, but it ends with the knowledge of how good God is in the midst of the horrible circumstances. It reminds the listener that He is a healer; He wants to fix things in your life and make things alright again; however, we, I, as a child of God, need to realize that He is still sovereign. He hasn’t forgotten you, or me; He has intricately planned every single detail of our lives. Nothing surprises Him. The fact that...

Lately, I've been noticing that I have a hard time opening up to people, and honestly, I don't truly know why. But, I would like to change that and make myself more relate-able to y'all. I think it's important to get to know others and where they come from and their stories, but it needs to be two-sided; I am realizing that it's not healthy for myself to just listen without allowing others into my life and letting them get to know who I truly am. Now, that I want to change that, I am going to begin with sharing my story and how I came to know Christ. I feel that my story is very simple: I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home and to loving parents who love the Lord. I've gone to church my entire life and had the knowledge of who God is and how we came to be from a very young age. I participated in a lot of church events and was active in reading and memorizing the Bible. But, I started to notice that some of my friends were different (most likely after th...