Opening Up
Lately, I've been noticing that I have a hard time opening up to people, and honestly, I don't truly know why. But, I would like to change that and make myself more relate-able to y'all. I think it's important to get to know others and where they come from and their stories, but it needs to be two-sided; I am realizing that it's not healthy for myself to just listen without allowing others into my life and letting them get to know who I truly am. Now, that I want to change that, I am going to begin with sharing my story and how I came to know Christ.
I feel that my story is very simple: I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home and to loving parents who love the Lord. I've gone to church my entire life and had the knowledge of who God is and how we came to be from a very young age. I participated in a lot of church events and was active in reading and memorizing the Bible. But, I started to notice that some of my friends were different (most likely after they received Christ) and became curious on how or why they were different. I went to a Bible camp in the summer between first and second grade, and that's when I found out about the sinner's prayer, and what it means. I was given the opportunity to pray and I took that opportunity when I was about 7 years old. I remember thinking that nothing much really changed, because my knowledge of the Bible didn't automatically increase and I didn't take on a new personality of a different person. I came to find that I was still me. As I grew up, though, I did see God's hand in my life in the way He shaped me into the person I am. I remained hungry for His Word and truth, and always sought after it. I found the more I learned and the more I read the Bible, the less I was satisfied with the world.
That was pretty much my life as I understood it from a young age, until I turned 14 years old. That year, my family moved from Michigan to North Carolina, and I hated moving, and I didn't want to leave the town that we lived in. Nonetheless, in retrospect, moving was something that God used to continue showing me that He is still faithful and that He won't ever give up on me, even though I felt that I was alone. I know that Satan was taking advantage of my position and I became a little depressed. (I say 'a little' because I was never formally diagnosed by a doctor, but my behavior had changed and it looked like a mild form of depression, I think, in some ways). So, throughout high school, I didn't really talk to anyone, and didn't really care about what was going on because I didn't want to be there, and made sure everyone knew that. I kind of pushed God away, but I still continued reading His Word. I'm not sure how much I retained during those years, but I know that He was with me, through it all, when I look back on my life.
Then, junior year came around, and I started accepting the fact that we moved and I started to care more about making friends at church. This is when my life started to turn around back to my free-spirited self. I got baptized in water at 17 years old, and that's something, along with receiving Christ, that I will never forget and I will never regret. I thank God that He brought me out of my depressed state and I started to see how He was working in my heart to be open to love and to be loved. When we moved, something switched in me, and I didn't want to really love others (I still loved my family) and I didn't want to receive love from others. But, when I re-directed my thoughts back to God and applying His Word again in my life, this was a change that I noticed almost immediately. I think I still have some aspects where it's hard for me to love and be loved, but I believe that will come in full restoration, since Jesus is the epitome of love. From that point on, I started to care about people as well, and I wanted to know their stories and where they came from. I'm so grateful that God never gave up on me, and that He understood me. I believe it's one of the main factors of my growth and healing, if you will. I know that my family also always stood by me, even though I may have not realized it at the time. So, now, I study and read the Bible and it's incredible how much there is to learn, and how the Holy Spirit teaches you on how to be more like Christ in every given moment.
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." —Romans 8:28
I feel that my story is very simple: I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home and to loving parents who love the Lord. I've gone to church my entire life and had the knowledge of who God is and how we came to be from a very young age. I participated in a lot of church events and was active in reading and memorizing the Bible. But, I started to notice that some of my friends were different (most likely after they received Christ) and became curious on how or why they were different. I went to a Bible camp in the summer between first and second grade, and that's when I found out about the sinner's prayer, and what it means. I was given the opportunity to pray and I took that opportunity when I was about 7 years old. I remember thinking that nothing much really changed, because my knowledge of the Bible didn't automatically increase and I didn't take on a new personality of a different person. I came to find that I was still me. As I grew up, though, I did see God's hand in my life in the way He shaped me into the person I am. I remained hungry for His Word and truth, and always sought after it. I found the more I learned and the more I read the Bible, the less I was satisfied with the world.
That was pretty much my life as I understood it from a young age, until I turned 14 years old. That year, my family moved from Michigan to North Carolina, and I hated moving, and I didn't want to leave the town that we lived in. Nonetheless, in retrospect, moving was something that God used to continue showing me that He is still faithful and that He won't ever give up on me, even though I felt that I was alone. I know that Satan was taking advantage of my position and I became a little depressed. (I say 'a little' because I was never formally diagnosed by a doctor, but my behavior had changed and it looked like a mild form of depression, I think, in some ways). So, throughout high school, I didn't really talk to anyone, and didn't really care about what was going on because I didn't want to be there, and made sure everyone knew that. I kind of pushed God away, but I still continued reading His Word. I'm not sure how much I retained during those years, but I know that He was with me, through it all, when I look back on my life.
Then, junior year came around, and I started accepting the fact that we moved and I started to care more about making friends at church. This is when my life started to turn around back to my free-spirited self. I got baptized in water at 17 years old, and that's something, along with receiving Christ, that I will never forget and I will never regret. I thank God that He brought me out of my depressed state and I started to see how He was working in my heart to be open to love and to be loved. When we moved, something switched in me, and I didn't want to really love others (I still loved my family) and I didn't want to receive love from others. But, when I re-directed my thoughts back to God and applying His Word again in my life, this was a change that I noticed almost immediately. I think I still have some aspects where it's hard for me to love and be loved, but I believe that will come in full restoration, since Jesus is the epitome of love. From that point on, I started to care about people as well, and I wanted to know their stories and where they came from. I'm so grateful that God never gave up on me, and that He understood me. I believe it's one of the main factors of my growth and healing, if you will. I know that my family also always stood by me, even though I may have not realized it at the time. So, now, I study and read the Bible and it's incredible how much there is to learn, and how the Holy Spirit teaches you on how to be more like Christ in every given moment.
I am not perfect, but I am accepted. I am loved. I am His, forever. These are eternal things that I will hold on to that for the remainder of my life.Now I am learning more about the fruits of the Spirit and what they look like, namely patience. Patience is something that I've been working on for a while now, and it gets incredibly hard, but by the grace of God I am getting there. I hope you enjoyed reading a little bit more about me and my background in coming to know Christ. Feel free to ask any questions! Be blessed, my friends.
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