"The Garden": How God Speaks Through a Single Song

The Lord is so faithful; so so faithful. I know I say simple statements like this frequently, but I just listened to “The Garden” by Kari Jobe and it brought me to tears. God used this song to help me realize that everything that’s happened in my life has led up to this one moment. All the questions I’ve asked over the years, doubts I’ve carried, grief, guilt, feeling like I don’t fit in, questioning how He could love me despite of it all; despite knowing that I would wonder of the sincerity of His grace.

“The Garden” is a song that deals mostly with sorrow and grief, but it ends with the knowledge of how good God is in the midst of the horrible circumstances. It reminds the listener that He is a healer; He wants to fix things in your life and make things alright again; however, we, I, as a child of God, need to realize that He is still sovereign. He hasn’t forgotten you, or me; He has intricately planned every single detail of our lives.

Nothing surprises Him.

The fact that wouldn’t like moving to North Carolina from Michigan as a fourteen year old, and that I would shut everyone out my freshman year of high school didn’t surprise God. He wasn’t surprised when I clung to new friends at church so quickly, disregarding the bad, and focusing on the good, even when it might not have been the best thing for me. He knew that I would start to walk away from those friends my senior year and going into freshman year of college, and screw up those friendships. He saw ahead of my life and wasn’t shocked that I had spent a lot of time alone in college, and actually didn’t mind it.
          He was faithful then, He’s faithful now.

The Lord used the time alone I had self-inflicted and turned it into something good: more time spent with Him, understanding His love a little deeper, accepting His acceptance of me—just as I am. Later, He knew that I would begin to wonder why I push people away when they begin to accept me. He knew that I would struggle with sharing stories from my life, afraid of judgment. Still, He loved me.

He knew all the details of my life before He even began to create me. He knew every feeling that I would harbor, every sin, every guilt that I would bear. He understood my struggles before they came. Yet, He still decided that I had purpose and that I had a calling. He allowed me to live through all this so that I could one day look back and say, “Wow, how did I get here? How did I get this far?” Only to realize: it was all Him. It will always be because of Him.

Now I realize how great my God is; the God I serve is a God of mercy; He chooses to love before condemning me. He chooses to bestow grace before shaming me. He chooses to give me peace before allowing me to succumb to fear. 

He is good.

He knew that I would spend tonight reflecting on my life and reminding me of moments when He was still there; He never left — even when I did.

He waits patiently for me, every single time.
What did I do to deserve this? Nothing.
That’s how great my God is: an ever beaming light to shine my path.

What do I have left to give? My life, my whole life. I can only pray that it’ll be enough. But, He promises that it is enough: my heart is all He wants.

Jesus fills me with hope now.
                                 joy.

                                 peace.
                                 love.

Now it’s my turn. My turn to let others in, to love others, to serve them. It’s my turn to be raw and real with people. God's got me this far, I completely surrender.

Be blessed, my friends.